The problem with injuries

First off, let me say that I’m not entirely sure when an injury is an actual injury or if I’m just getting old/damned by genetics.

“Nink knee” is an unofficial name, but an actual medical problem that has led a few family members on my mother’s side to need knee replacements in their late 50’s. No thanks.

Before I began really running, I had the achy when it rains, crackling knees that begins this family curse. I also believed the ol’ “Running is bad for your knees” myth and feared that running would just speed up the process.

I’m happy to report, since running regularly, my ‘symptoms’ have disappeared. Imagine how much better it would be if I could just drop 40 pounds! (says the person who had SO much brie for lunch. omg.)

What I wasn’t expecting was plantar fasciitis. I once had it so bad, that I could only bear weight on the outer edge of my affected foot.

That instance was due to running. 

This time? I’m pretty sure it’s work/shoe related. Or it never truly went away and recent shoe changes plus, at my job, I’m literally on my feet 8+ hours a day have only exacerbated the issue.

The problem? Ain’t nobody got time for this.

At the moment, my foot is wrapped in an ace bandage to help support my arch. I’ll be icing it again soon. There is a small section right behind my arch and before my heel that is very tender and swollen. Also, my heel burns sometimes when I put weight on it.

I’m off today, so I’ve been able to “take it easy” (after the trip with the kids to the museum, the grocery store, baking a cake for a friend, and working on dinner…) and stay off my feet. 

But I was supposed the run today.

I guess I’ll be looking up sports med doctors instead. 

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Being among giants

So, last night?

Awesome.

Next time, I’ll be dragging some friends along. While everyone was friendly, I was a bit of a wall flower. I’d already hit the merch table snagging the “I run things” shirt, a new sweaty band, and a hard copy of “Train like a mother.” Yes, I already had it on my kindle but a) you can’t sign a kindle and b) my kindle is kind of no longer mine. Youngest uses it more than me… and not for reading *sigh*

I was quietly enjoying all the people watching and trying to drown out all the noise. There was so much excited chatter in one place, it was almost overwhelming.

It was so amazing to see runners of all shapes and sizes. We are all real people sharing all the same struggles. 

Dimity and Sarah were absolutely hilarious. They read bits from their book and raffled off some great prizes. I won a super comfy visor!

I’m so glad I went and saw ,first hand, the community that I’m a part of. 

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I am SO short!

My ‘day off’

Because I work full time, with varying hours and days, my days off tend to fill quickly. Sometimes it feels as though I’ll never catch a break and truly rest. Other days, like today (YAY!) everything falls into place and there are no surprise errands tossed in for added ‘fun’.

The younger 2 are tracked out, so I got to sleep in. (always nice)

I got a run in wearing my sweaty band that was a birthday present from a wonderful work and running buddy. She also gave me a goody box FULL of yummy running essentials. Thanks again, Abby!!!

 

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Yay for all the pink! And it really did stay in place! 

I’m having a great hair day.

Dinner is cooked and ready including a salad and fruit salad. 

Middle one has baseball practice until 6:30 and then…

I’m off to attend Raleigh’s Another Mother Runner party! 

I reserved my spot all the way back in January and I’m so excited that it’s finally here!! 

Swag bags are always nice but I can’t wait to soak up all that running wisdom… and maybe buy a shirt. 

I love days off like this!

 

 

What a weekend!

This weekend I celebrated my 35th birthday. I usually dread the old bday which makes for a pretty pissy me when the day finally comes.

But when I woke up yesterday morning, I felt exactly the same as I did the morning before. Turns out, 35 feels a lot like 34, 33, 32, 31, 30… so I guess being 35 isn’t such a bad thing after all.

“Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many” ( I try to remember this. I have a completely irrational fear of aging that began at 16)

A few weeks ago, to help soften the blow of my impending day, I coerced a semi-willing friend to sign up for a fun run. Emphasis on fun. It wasn’t about time or pace. The only performance was rocking our tutus! 

And we did.

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We had a blast!

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The weather was absolutely amazing! Low 60’s at race start and hardly a cloud in the sky!

Last night, after my son’s baseball game (We won! Woop!) Prince Charming took me out for the “family dinner” birthday celebration.

SURPRISE!!!

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Pardon my “mom do” I told Prince Charming that I would have at least made an effort to look nice had I known! 😉

My wonderful sbux framily, who like to hang out with me even though I boss them around, gave me the sweetest cards and gifts and they also chipped in to give me a gift card to a local tattoo shop!! My second tattoo is closer than ever!!

Just having them there would have been enough, I was so touched to see everyone’s face smiling up at me as I came around the corner.

And I cried. Duh. For obvious and not so obvious reasons.

My life is so very, very blessed. 

Jesse

I meet quite a few people in my line of work.

The good: regulars we know by drink and name. People we know we can play around with and who come back day after day, not just because of our coffee or our brand, but because of us. 

The bad and the ugly: The bad are the ones who don’t make eye contact, ignore a greeting, and or continue a phone conversation while at the register or speaker. Ugly in this instance is not based on looks. An ugly person, at least here in the south, is someone without a soul. A wretched person who’s goal in life is to make other people miserable. 

Luckily, the bad is a minor nuisance and the ugly rarely show up. I can name 2 times that I’ve had to leave the floor to gather my wits after an encounter with one of them. 

After an encounter with the ugly we appreciate our regulars a lot more, and sometimes, a new one pops into our life. Like Noxema on a sunburn, it soothes the sting.

Jesse arrived today towards the middle of my shift while I was tidying up the front.

His first words to me after I greeted him were “GIRL! I am so tired!”

I knew then, even before he assured me that he was our newest regular, that he would be an amazing new addition to our store.  He was bright, vibrant, and he addressed me by name. 

I was a person to him and I was so very hungry for that acknowledgement. 

This work week was a long one filled with a lot of “what am I doing here?” moments. It’s hard to serve with enthusiasm when so many people feel so entitled with no thought of giving back.

So, thank you, Jesse, for unknowingly making my day and reminding me why I keep doing it.

 

Changes

When I was younger we moved a few times. Looking back, it wasn’t quite as often as it felt like, but for a shy introvert it was crippling. I hated change. It still bugs me, but I no longer spend my lunch hour alone at an empty table reading a book.

Now that I’m older and wiser (ha!), I realize that despite our most precious wishes and plans for how we think our lives should turn out, life goes on and continues to move us in the direction we should go. Whether we like it or not. The only thing we control is how fast we adapt.

And if this past year has done anything for me it’s driven that particular point home. Repeatedly.

So on that note, here are a few things that will be changing around here.

Not the name.

Regal, fierce, warrior… I will always be those things. I wear my imaginary tiara with pride.

Runner. Yes. I run… around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. I run a very busy store, I run a household, and I run, run when I can.

This blog will be more and more about my life with some whining about running tossed in here and there. It will, in no way, be a type A- Look at all I can juggle personality thing. We all know that’s not me. (It will be a me, bent over, scrambling to pick up all the pieces thing)

I’m training for a few races this year including a half marathon in November! The Battleship Half in Willmington, NC will be my first half.

I may eventually make it to run Disney some year.  It’s ok if I don’t.

On Saturday, my good friends and I will be rocking our tutus at my birthday run! Ok, it’s a color run… but it’s the day before my birthday. Is there a better way to celebrate?

Next month, there is a 5k in Willmington and in June there is a 10k followed by free wine, tapas, and manicures.

It looks like I have a good start! I just need to fill  in July – October 🙂

 

 

Running for Jaime

Earlier this week a fellow mother runner lost her life. Out on her morning run, she was hit by a car. I don’t know any specifics other than she has 2 children. But details don’t matter. She and her family are in my heart and I will be running for her on Saturday March 15th along with others in our “community”.

I won’t us this post or her story to nag about safety. I know we all do the best we can. It is a tragedy. Plain and simple.

 

I just want to sit and cry

Another reason why running is so good for me:
It keeps me level headed. Ok, ok. It makes me better at pretending I’m level headed.

Last weekend I was battling a cold that moved into my chest. Then hub went into the hospital for his last round of chemo (FOREVER! Hopefully…) so I haven’t run since February 16th-ish.

I’m not saying I was used to running several miles a week but apparently I was.

I’m going CRAZY. I just want to sit and cry. All day long. 

Stupid things set me off into crying jags, my anxiety is through the roof and I just want everyone to leave me alone.

I’m desperate to get back out there and shed this… overwhelming blah.

There is a color run the day before my birthday (don’t even get me started on THAT!)… I think I’ll sign up for it. What better way to celebrate my mid twenties *ahem* than to cover myself with color?

Now what?

I received a reply from RunDisney about deferring my race entry. Given the circumstances, they said, it would be no problem to defer and I should be getting an email sometime today with further instructions. (… waiting …) 

So, after taking some time to get a hold of myself (by completely letting myself go, but that’s another post for another time.) I’ve come to realize that I’m actually grateful for the delay.

Would I have been ready to run the Princess Half this year? Yes, but not the way I would have wanted it and I think, deep down, that knowledge was creating an unhealthy anxiety that was clouding what should have been an exciting time.

We took my in laws to the beach this weekend and it was ARCTIC. So we had quite a bit of time to sit around, play games, and think. (Well, I did most of the thinking, I think).

I thought a lot about running and what I want out of it. Last year, my goal was to build up to a point that when I got to October I could follow the training plan provided by RunDisney and be ready.

This past year’s training was the best I could do considering the path our lives took.

By the time the dust settled, I’d missed a huge chunk of time and while I was proud of what I ended up accomplishing it wasn’t going to be enough.

But where do I ‘begin’ now? What training plan/level do I adhere to so far out? Am I a beginning runner or have I reached Experienced?

Do I just run? And how does one go about doing that?

I’ve never been one to say that I enjoy running. Love/hate relationship is more like it. I’m not one to take time for myself anyway (Martyr Mom) and towards the end, training began to feel like a chore.

I hate making the bed. Why do it when I’m just going to have to do it all over again tomorrow? But then it looks so pretty and I feel so accomplished… So I do it again tomorrow.

That’s how I feel about running.

And it’s why I’ll keep running. 

Because a made up bed looks so inviting and so does my runner’s body and mind!

 

Training for this year’s half did so much for me.

Physically – hello toning!, stamina, clearer skin, better sleep

Emotionally – improved mood, lower anxiety, better sense of self

By focusing on all the positives, I’m going to stay positive and make running a more integral part of my life and not just something I have to do to train.

I’m not going to use some race to prove my self worth. I’ll prove it everyday I run.

 

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My A-HA! moment.

Living vicariously

I didn’t do it to torture myself, but I thought I could handle it. 

I was so proud of everyone running today. 

I see my friend’s pictures on Facebook and I still follow the Run Disney page and as happy as I am for her and everyone else, it absolutely crushes me that I wasn’t there.

I don’t resent the reason we chose to stay behind, but I’m hoping my fellow runners can understand the loss I feel today. I hope no one has ever had to feel this disappointment, but I need someone to tell me it’s ok to mourn this lost opportunity as well. 

I keep telling myself that the training has not been wasted. I still accomplished something I never thought possible and now the foundation has been laid for my future races. 

Will I run the Princess Half next year? I hope so. Will I run a half sooner? I don’t know. I caught Prince Charming looking at the Wine and Dine half earlier today… 

As irrational as it is, I’m scared to plan anything now. Nothing good ever seems to come of it lately. 

Pity party, table for one!

I’ll get over it. I just needed a day to mope.

Running tomorrow. I hope I don’t cry.