I’m not ready

Just now, my oldest son was standing in the kitchen joking with his dad. He looked so grown up and handsome in that moment that it took my breath away. As he began to walk past me, I grabbed him in a hug and held him tightly. I tried to let go and let him by before he could see the tears in my eyes, but he turned to me and said “I love you.”  And I lost it.

I’m not ready for him to be a high school senior. I’m not ready for him to go live on campus in a little over a year. I’m not ready to not see him every single day.

I’m not ready.

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