Living vicariously

I didn’t do it to torture myself, but I thought I could handle it. 

I was so proud of everyone running today. 

I see my friend’s pictures on Facebook and I still follow the Run Disney page and as happy as I am for her and everyone else, it absolutely crushes me that I wasn’t there.

I don’t resent the reason we chose to stay behind, but I’m hoping my fellow runners can understand the loss I feel today. I hope no one has ever had to feel this disappointment, but I need someone to tell me it’s ok to mourn this lost opportunity as well. 

I keep telling myself that the training has not been wasted. I still accomplished something I never thought possible and now the foundation has been laid for my future races. 

Will I run the Princess Half next year? I hope so. Will I run a half sooner? I don’t know. I caught Prince Charming looking at the Wine and Dine half earlier today… 

As irrational as it is, I’m scared to plan anything now. Nothing good ever seems to come of it lately. 

Pity party, table for one!

I’ll get over it. I just needed a day to mope.

Running tomorrow. I hope I don’t cry.

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One thought on “Living vicariously

  1. It’s the loss of a dream that you have a lot banking on for many, many months. It is okay and expected to mourn the loss of the experience. ❤

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