Deep thoughts.

“The path to heaven runs through miles clouded hell, right to the top. Don’t look back.”

Can you see it? Just ahead… past that slight curve in the trail, and right after the large tree dripping with the honeysuckle vine… and when you pass that, it’s just… there. Just ahead. Just past the next curve after that.

Don’t look back, all you’ll see, between the shadows closing in, is the fear or failure. It lures you in, pulling you backwards and tricking you into thinking that’s all you are. A failure. The fear blurs your thoughts until you can’t see that it’s only an obstacle you’ve been running to overcome to get to this brightest part of the trail. 

The quote above is a line from a song by Imagine Dragons. I’ve always liked it, but for some reason, during my run today, the jarring truth of that line came at me, sending chills down my spine. 

I’ve been letting the shadows catch up to me and it’s blurred the light ahead. 

And it’s not just running, it’s in all things. 

I try to be everything to everyone and in doing that, I’ve gotten lost. 

From now on, I’m going to focus on only looking forward. 

‘Heaven’ to me is achievement in all things (maybe perfection… I may have to lower the bar on that one 😉 ) A healthy marriage, healthy children and a healthy husband.

Heaven is finishing the race and in doing so, becoming a healthier version of the awesome I already am. 

I can do this. I’m not looking back. 

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Damn, I’m tired

Remember when I was a stay at home mom and I never had time to work out?

Well, I do.

And it’s funny, because then, when I had no time to work out, it was because I was too busy sitting on my ass and reading books, or lounging by the pool, and ‘cleaning’ the house.

Now that I’m really, really busy, I do get more runs in, but not nearly as many as I should, and I’m exhausted.

I follow a facebook group for the Princess Half 2014, and while I keep to myself, many people post their daily workouts. As they should. I mean, I guess they feel it’s encouraging?

But, seriously? You, perfect stranger, did a 3 mile run AND you’re going to ride your bike 4 miles to your Zumba class later tonight?

In my dreams!

I may be a bit jealous. It’s normal, right? Keeping up with the Jones and all…

But when the simple act of getting into my running clothes seems like too much work, I can’t help but think that I’m in over my head.

Maybe I just need to get more than 7 hours of sleep at night. I wish it was as easy as it sounds.

Wow.

It’s really real, y’all!!!

As of 12:05pm today, I have an official entry into the Disney Princess Half. 

AHHHHHHHH! 

I’m so very, very excited! Not only because it’s a vacation to the happiest place on earth with my favorite person, but I’m already proud of myself for finishing a race I haven’t even run yet!

Awhile ago, I began running with the sole intention of just being able to run longer than two minutes. Races weren’t on my radar and a half was only something crazy people did. And marathons?? No freaking way. 

Now, well, I have 3 5k’s under my belt and I’m going to own this half like the princess that I am!! I daydream about walking (hobbling?) around the parks after the race, wearing my finisher’s medal. And you KNOW I’m going to. Every day. 

I will buy all the Half related souvenirs and I will cherish everyday, every ride, and every laugh I share with my Prince Charming. Knowing that I will have accomplished something I thought was impossible just a few years ago will make a perfect vacation even more special!

But for now, it’s about to get ugly. 

I ran 2 miles today, and tomorrow? P90x.

 

Battle plans

As the sale date for the Princess half approaches, I’m filled with determination and fear. 

I will do this. There is no question about that, but the task still seems so very daunting. On my way to the grocery store this morning, a mere 7 miles away from my house, it dawned on me, that one day, (and soon!) I’ll be running the close equivalent to this round trip trek. 

Shit just got real.

For the past few months, I was fairly diligent about my eating. I’d cut out meat, fast food, and was drinking only water (and a few venti very berry refreshers. *ahem*). Recently, I’ve fallen off the proverbial wagon, slowly letting all the wrong things slip into my diet again. 

And I’m once again back to being slow, grumpy, and tired. All the time.

I’m thinking I had a pretty good thing going there and it’s time to recommit, except, my mind is like a toddler’s and as soon as I tell it ‘no’, well… we all know what happens then. 

You bribe them.

Case in point: Last night, at work, I really wanted/thought I needed another drink. We were busy, it was stuffy in the store and the very berry was screaming my name. I almost did it, ‘just a tall’ I told myself… but I’d already had my tall for the day… so I told myself that, and if I behaved and stopped whining that I’d be getting one as soon as I got to work tomorrow so shut up and drink your water.

AND I SURVIVED! 

AND I had no trouble falling asleep last night, and while I was a bit tired today, I still ran (and well) and I’ll get my tall refresher when to work and it will taste so good! 

So, I’m going to take it day by day, hour by hour if I have to, and remind myself how much better I feel when I do the right thing for me. 

btw, 12 min mile today.